Movie Breakdown: Poltergeist

People are doing traditional-style reviews all over the web, so we decided to try something different.  In each “breakdown” we’ll take a look at what a film’s marketing led us to believe, how the movie actually played, and then what we learned from it all.  Read on!

The Impression:

Another horror remake that no one asked for has arrived.  This time it’s Poltergeist.

The Reality:

The strangest thing about the current (and perhaps never ending) string of horror remakes/reboots/re-imaginings is that they seem more inclined to play it safe instead of taking the established property and spinning it in a crazy way that warrants a do-over.  Poltergeist is no different.  There’s nothing particularly wrong with the film – the cast is fine (especially Sam Rockwell), there’s a solid creepy moment or two and the movie doesn’t feel cheap – but overall it doesn’t do anything but try to avoid offending anyone.  How can any horror film with an agenda like that actually be scary at all?  It can’t.  So, while it pains me to say this, the unfortunate truth is that the new Poltergeist is just another entry in a long line of remakes that can’t justify their existence.  You should just stay home and watch the original.  At least that film had the balls to attempt to make you want to turn on all of the lights in your house and/or only watch romantic comedies for a month.

The Lesson:

Go big or go home.