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Movie Breakdown: We’re The Millers (Noah)

August 8, 2013

Film

People are doing traditional-style reviews all over the web, so we decided to try something different.  In each “breakdown” we’ll take a look at what a film’s marketing lead us to believe, how the movie actually played, and then what we learned from it all.  Read on!

The Impression:

I was pretty opposed to seeing/reviewing We’re The Millers. So much so that the only reason I actually did see/review We’re The Millers is that I promised my friend Dave a screening of Elysium, got the times wrong, and could only make it up with a free screening of this Jason Sudeikis/Jennifer Aniston stinker. Let’s just say that my attitude going in to the film wasn’t exactly stellar.

The Reality:

We’re The Millers is a bad film. Let’s just say that. I’ll pepper the rest of this review with a few kind things, a few stabs at making myself feel better for getting tangled up with this shit-show, but at it’s very core, We’re The Millers is an at times painfully unfunny bit of comedy. Without going in to detail, the film revolves around a fake family brought together so one man can smuggle some drugs and save his ass. A fake family, drug dealers, and a sort of gay Nick Offerman, seem like the recipe for hilarity (at least in this comedic wasteland we call Hollywood) but the film pushes too hard towards edgy, and We’re The Millers becomes a half-baked vehicle for some truly awkward, borderline offensive comedy. If any film has ever used the deux-ex-machina with greater fervor or frequency I don’t know, and it defines the films fault – the story is formulaic and downright difficult to watch. Sure, Jason Sudeikis plays the comedic leading man with aplomb, but his character vacillates from a lovable pot dealer to a total asshole without rhyme or reason. And sure, Jennifer Aniston does a decent job as a stripper with a heart of gold, but who cares when the directors spend almost fifteen minutes between her making out with her “fake son” and her pole dancing for the vague, Hispanic villain. Ah jeez, who even gives a shit about this movie? If you’re going to see it, you’ve already punched your mediocrity dance card. The rest of you, wait until your two joints deep and watch it on Netflix.

The Lesson:

Get your times right, folks.

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