Movie Breakdown: Red Notice

Pre-Screening Stance:

Dwayne Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, and Gal Gadot? That’s a good mix. Or at least it is on paper, but the reality of the situation is that Rawson Marshall Thurber has already directed two big Johnson duds – Central Intelligence and Skyscraper.

Post-Screening Ramble:

I tried to like Red Notice, I really did. And I think I gave it a good go because Ryan Reynolds actually seems like he’s having fun in the movie. It’s a third about his character, a renown art thief named Nolan Booth, and the rest is centered around an FBI agent, John Hartley (Dwayne Johnson), and another thief, The Bishop (Gal Gadot). Together (but also separately) they’re on the hunt for three fancy eggs that once belonged to Cleopatra.

Even though Red Notice has a nonsensical plot and is too long and is poorly directed (especially the stiff, overly edited action scenes), I actually could have let all of that pass had its three stars bothered to carry the film. As I mentioned, Reynolds does do his part, but Johnson and Gadot are a pair of wet toothpicks the entire time. They both just look so bored and uninspired, and when you combine that with the fact that writer/director Rawson Marshall Thurber really pushes for their scenes together to be sexy and fun, it makes for a pretty awkward time.

I’ve certainly seen worse action movies than Red Notice, but it leaves too much to be desired to be worth a recommendation. The film will hit Netflix this Friday, November 12.

One Last Thought:

Johnson and Gadot have a dance scene in this movie, and there are three reasons I hated it.

#1) It’s a total ripoff of the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tia Carrere tango from True Lies.

#2) Johnson and Gadot move like statues and have no business dancing.

#3) The immense lack of onscreen chemistry between Johnson and Gadot makes this scene cringey.