Movie Breakdown: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald
Pre-Screening Stance:
I found Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them to be pretty solid, but in the two years since its release, I’ve never once had the urge to revisit it (and I own the movie). Will The Crimes Of Grindelwald be grand enough to warrant repeat viewings or will it just straight stall the series? I’ve got a feeling it’s the latter.
Post-Screening Ramble:
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald is an absolutely terrible movie. I went in with low expectations, and yet it still managed to be one of the most tedious, convoluted chores of 2018. I guess (and I really mean guess) that the film is mainly about Grindelwald (Johnny Depp) and his quest to find and recruit Credence Barebone (Ezra Miller), an Obscurial (i.e. a super magic boy) who will be able to defeat Dumbledore (Jude Law), but it’s buried beneath so many minor characters, subplots and other half-cocked ideas that it’s impossible to give a single shit. Even now, as I sit here trying to hammer out this review, I just do not care about anything that happened in what can only be described as a woeful, messy film. It’s time to move on from director David Yates, who has reached a point where he has no idea how to inject any creativity or enthusiasm into a world that’s built on MAGIC. How’s that even possible? And JK Rowling? It’s time for her to get the boot as well. She should not be writing these films, as they’ve quickly turned into her version of George Lucas’ Star Wars prequels and Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy – too bloated, too lifeless and too much of a cash grab.
Don’t bother here.
One Last Thought:
There are two particular characters in this movie who not only share a similar appearance, but they also both look like the guy who played teenage Tom Riddle in Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize they were three separate dudes.
One More Last Thought:
On the way out of my screening, I heard a lady sincerely ask this: “Was that one guy Harry Potter’s son?”. Now, this movie didn’t lose me near as much as it did her, but I think it just goes to show that The Crimes Of Grindelwald is nearly incomprehensible.
