For the
sake of not having to write the same intro a million
different ways throughout the rest of time, just know that
this column avoids the overly long and sometimes dull
process of full film reviews and instead opts to break
things down based on what I thought going in, what happened
while I was there and what I learned at the end of it all.
Thanks for reading!
The
Breakdown - White Irish Drinkers
The Impression:
Came in to this one totally blind. Did a little bit of
research on the director, John Gray, and the one-two punch
of poorly received television movies and a large stint on
The Ghost Whisperer doesn’t bode well for a film about
two Irish brothers.
The Reality:
I love movies, and my goal as a reviewer is to spread the
love of films. To draw people in to movies so they’ll keep
coming back again and again. To do this I attempt not to
review films that I can’t find anything worthwhile about.
Why throw logs on the fire when there’s so much out there
these days to laud praise upon? I can never find the reason
except the masturbatory pleasure reaming a terrible movie
fills one with. That said, I don’t feel like wanking it
right now so I’ll break down White Irish Drinkers in
to the crumbs of enjoyment I was able to glean from it:
1. Stephen Lang, in a role thankfully lacking camouflage, is
great in this film as Paddy, the drunken, abusive father of
the two main brothers (played by relative newbies Nick
Thurston and Geoffrey Wigdor). There’s a barrel chested
brutality to the character pushed forward by Lang’s
masterful control of Paddy’s clipped vocabulary. He is a
frightening man in the lovable Irish way, films have made us
so accustomed to.
2. The scenes with main character Bryan and his trio of
cronies, though cliché and seemingly strip-mined from every
other small-town coming of age flick ever made, ring with at
least a morsel of reality. Drew me back to the Natty Ice and
bong hits of my suburban upbringing.
The Lesson:
See something else.
- Noah Sanders
-
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