Movie Breakdown: The King’s Daughter

Pre-Screening Stance:

The trailer for The King’s Daughter packs a real Disney Channel vibe, which isn’t too surprising considering that it’s directed by Sean McNamara (he’s done a lot of programming aimed at kids). It might be entertaining though. Let’s get it a shot.

Post-Screening Ramble:

The King’s Daughter is made-for-TV quality at best, but I didn’t necessarily dislike it. The story is pretty weird – King Louis XIV (Pierce Brosnan) wants to live forever, so he decides he’s going to sacrifice a mermaid during an eclipse. A classic move! He also wants to have his illegitimate daughter, Marie (Kaya Scodelario), around … to compose music. Or maybe he actually wants to get to know her? This part isn’t clear and the movie pretty much just hums right on past it. Anyhow, Marie isn’t aware of her relation to the King, but she quickly befriends him, his staff, and the mermaid he has locked up. Things then get complicated.

Frankly, I think kids will like this movie. It’s got a breezy runtime that’s just over 90 minutes, and Pierce Brosnan is fairly amusing with his ridiculous hair and a drive to chew up as much scenery as he can at every turn. And sure, the plot is often nonsensical and can feel rather cobbled together, but what kid would ever notice? None. On the flip side of this, if you’re older than 13, it’s highly unlikely this movie will hold your attention at all.

The King’s Daughter hits theaters tomorrow, January 21.

One Last Thought:

There’s a scene in this that takes place on one of the lamest, most unnecessary-looking bridges of all time.

One More Last Thought:

After the credits hit the screen, I browsed the Wikipedia page for this movie and was surprised to see that it finished shooting all the way back in 2014. Talk about getting shelved. Also, I’d like to the hear the story of why it took so long to get released.