Movie Breakdown: Army Of Thieves

Pre-Screening Stance:

I have to say, I did not come out of the mostly fine Army Of The Dead wanting a prequel based on Dieter, the movie’s awkward German safecracker. It’s here though and it’s directed by Dieter (Matthias Schweighofer) himself, so let’s give it a go.

Post-Screening Ramble:

Somewhere around the 20-minute mark of Army Of Thieves, my wife turned to me and asked if what we were watching was “the first episode.” This – I imagine – is going to be a common reaction to the movie, as it largely feels like a cobbled together set of flashbacks you’d see in a series. The plot is centered around Dieter (Matthias Schweighofer), a super safecracker who gets recruited by a group of thieves that want to break into a series of the world’s toughest vaults. He’s awkward-but-talented, they’re tough-and-talented, and that’s basically the entirety of Army Of Thieves. Frankly, I immediately forgot the team’s generic interactions as soon as the movie ended, but I can note that I did enjoy the safecracking scenes. These moments are directed with some enthusiasm, and I thought it was fun the way Dieter recites the lore of each vault as he prepares to crack them. That’s it though, the rest of Army Of Thieves just plods along, and more than once you’ll wonder why this Army Of The Dead character got his own movie and why said movie is two hours long.

Army Of Thieves isn’t bad, it’s more what I would call a passive experience, in that you can put it on and not have to really pay any sort of attention to it in order to be able to follow along with the story. The movie will hit Netflix this Friday, October 29.

One Last Thought:

I really do like Nathalie Emmanuel, but I’ve started to notice that she only has one way of speaking. If she’s presenting a grand plan or positing a tough question, her patiently-paced and lightly mysterious delivery really works. On the other hand, if she’s casually talking, she sounds sort of silly.