Movie Breakdown: Venom

Pre-Screening Stance:

I have not been able to understand a single word that Tom Hardy has said in any of the Venom trailers, so I’m heading into it with my expectation level set somewhere just below zero.

Post-Screening Ramble:

It didn’t take long into Venom for me to realize that I had no idea what I was watching, and even now, hours upon hours later, I still have no clue as to what it was trying to be.  At first the movie is a drama, I guess.  Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) is an ambitious reporter with a wonderful fiance, Anne Weying (Michelle Williams), and things are great for them in San Francisco.  Or at least they are until he interviews her boss, Carlton Drake (Riz Ahmed), who runs some type of mega-corp called the Life Foundation, and his intrusive questions get both her and him fired.  Anne breaks up with Eddie, and then he has to struggle along all on his lonesome.  Eventually he’s contacted by someone at the Life Foundation – Dr. Dora Skirth (Jenny Slate) – about some shady stuff, and this leads to him joining with Venom.  From here the movie shifts into an action comedy but at the same time it also takes itself very seriously.  This, as you can imagine, results in wild tonal shifts that cause intentionally funny moments to not be funny and serious moments to be hilarious.  To be honest, I shook my head in disbelief for the back half of this movie because I couldn’t believe that it actually got made.  It is a seriously bizarre effort that’s so dumb and poorly crafted (the CG is particularly woeful) that it will surely be mocked for years and years to come.

You should not bother with Venom unless you just really want to burn some brain cells.

One Last Thought:

Venom features Tom Hardy as a guy with something inside of him that can control his body and speak to him.  In Upgrade, which was released earlier this year, an actor that looks like Tom Hardy (Logan Marshall-Green) played a guy with something inside of him that can control his body and speak to him.  Coincidence?  Probably.

One More Last Thought:

Here’s a spoiler but not really because it’s something that’s been pretty well known for a while.  Still, if you’re sensitive about these things, then stop reading.  Venom has the usual sort of post-credits teaser that all comic book movies come with these days.  I can’t say I care about a possible sequel to such a shitty movie, but this scene happens to feature Woody Harrelson as Cletus Kasady (aka Carnage), and it’s wonderful because he 100% looks like a discount Carrot Top.  If you actually go see Venom, make sure you wait for this hilarious moment.