Movie Breakdown: Skyscraper

Pre-Screening Stance:

Skyscraper stars Dwayne Johnson as a man trying to not fall off a building, which could be fun, and it’s directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber, who is a mostly competent fella (see: Easy A, Dodgeball, maybe don’t see: Central Intelligence, We’re The Millers).  I’d say my confidence level here isn’t high or low, it’s just there.

Post-Screening Ramble:

Skyscraper is essentially Die Hard without any of the interesting or fun parts that made Die Hard great, and I think it’s quite possibly the most calculated film I’ve come across in a long time.  What I mean by that is this, there is nothing about Skyscraper that was made with any sort of passion.  Instead it’s as though the movie was crafted by people who read some sort of “Box Office Success for Dummies” book and then went to work.  It features Dwayne Johnson, an easy to sell face.  It runs just over an hour and a half long, which means it can be screened a ton in theaters with 40 trailers attached to it.  It’s based in China, which will certainly assist in the film’s foreign take.  It’s super squeaky clean, so it can be shown to families.  Lastly, the damn thing is just called SKYSCRAPER.  Why bother with a creative name when you already have a paint by numbers film that’s engineered to make that sweet cash, right?  All films this lazy should be deleted from existence.

Do yourself a favor and don’t bother with this one until it’s on TNT at 2pm in the afternoon someday far in the future.

One Last Thought:

Considering there’s an enormous building that’s on fire for the majority of this film, it’s crazy that zero firefighters ever make an appearance.  In fact, no one even bothers to try and stop the building from burning, they all just stand around and watch it go up in flames.  THIS IS FINE, I guess.