Movie Breakdown: A Cure For Wellness

Pre-Screening Stance:

Gore Verbinski did a pretty great job with The Ring, so I’m all about him getting spooky/scary/suspenseful again via A Cure For Wellness.  With that being said, I can’t say I’ve found the early footage to be all that interesting.

Post-Screening Ramble:

A Cure For Wellness is one of those weird movies that you watch and watch and watch and as it continues on forever you just keep thinking “man, this is going to get good at any moment, I just know it!”.  Then it ends, and as you walk out of the theater (seemingly days after entering it), you find yourself feeling befuddled.  Why?  Because of everything.  It’s not a scary movie, but it does have some well crafted moments that are intense.  It’s not an interesting movie, but there are a few parts that will get you thinking.  It’s not a movie with a big, satisfying ending, but it sure does make you feel like one is barrelling towards you.  And so on and on and on.  In other words, if you enjoy being mildly entertained with no real payoff, then A Cure For Wellness is for you!

The rest of you though should stay far away from Gore Verbinski’s meandering film.  There’s nothing there for you but the feeling that something good almost happened, except probably not really and the only real thing you’re left with is the fact that you wasted hundreds of hours watching it.  Go walk in the park, or just spend some quality time with Shutter Island, which is the better version of A Cure For Wellness anyhow.

One Last Thought:

Dane DeHaan looks like Leonardo DiCaprio and A Cure For Wellness plays like Shutter Island.  Coincidence?  Yeah probably, but I’m OK with us tagging this one with a conspiracy theory sticker anyways.