Movie Breakdown: A Million Ways To Die In The West

People are doing traditional-style reviews all over the web, so we decided to try something different.  In each “breakdown” we’ll take a look at what a film’s marketing lead us to believe, how the movie actually played, and then what we learned from it all.  Read on!

The Impression:

After scoring a hit with the rather enjoyable Ted, Seth MacFarlane and his hijinks head West.

The Reality:

I never noticed it before, but Seth MacFarlane has dead eyes.  His voice-only gigs over the years have managed to keep this particular feature of his hidden, but in A Million Ways To Die In The West there his dead eyes are right on the screen for an excruciatingly long two hours.  Maybe this wouldn’t have bothered me if his movie was even remotely funny or somewhat likeable, but it’s such a black hole of despair that his soulless eyes just exacerbate the already woeful cinematic experience that is his latest creation.  Do not see A Million Ways To Die In The West.  Not only is nothing about it worth your time, but I’m also pretty sure it will cause the comedy-loving side of you to enter into a deep depression.

The Lesson:

Never mind, maybe Seth McFarlane shouldn’t be allowed to make movies.