For the
sake of not having to write the same intro a million
different ways throughout the rest of time, just know that
this column avoids the overly long and sometimes dull
process of full film reviews and instead opts to break
things down based on what I thought going in, what happened
while I was there and what I learned at the end of it all.
Thanks for reading!
The
Breakdown - Killer Elite
The Impression:
Two of the great actors of all time and one of the only real
action heroes we’ve got these days armed with weapons
hell-bent on killing each other? That’s at least what the
trailer makes the film out to be. It’s been a good year for
action flicks (Hanna, Drive) and I’m hoping
that Killer Elite manages to uphold its forebears.
The Reality:
It’s downright embarrassing that this film not only got made
but got made with the high caliber cast on display here.
Okay okay, we can cross De Niro off that list because aside
from Stone he’s been dragging out the Little Fockers
business for ten too many years. But Clive Owens and Jason
Statham? These are respectable stars. Okay okay, lets cross
off Jason Statham as he’s recently been upholding the record
for most times cast as a hitman, and I can’t remember a film
of his that didn’t leave me wanting to scoop out my eyeballs
with a spoon. So we are left with Clive Owens and renowned
director Gary McKendry. Oh wait, no one has any idea who
Gary McKendry is? Well, then we’re left with Clive Owens and
talented writer Gary McKendry ... oh shit, same as the
director. What we’re left with is Clive Owens, and as good
an actor Mr. Owens might be, Killer Elite is the type
of shit-show that needs to have every single piston firing
for it even be slightly decent. Terrible story, lack luster
pacing and some horribly toneless performances by, well,
every actor in it. What’s it about? Killing or something.
Don’t bother even thinking about this film anymore, it’s not
worth your brain time.
The Lesson:
Three blockbuster stars do not a good movie make.
- Noah Sanders
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