For the
sake of not having to write the same intro a million
different ways throughout the rest of time, just know that
this column avoids the overly long and sometimes dull
process of full film reviews and instead opts to break
things down based on what I thought going in, what happened
while I was there and what I learned at the end of it all.
Hope that's OK.
Read on!
The
Breakdown - Battle: Los Angeles
The Impression:
The always solid Aaron Eckhart leads a bunch of Marines out
to kick some alien ass in what looks like the most fun
invasion flick since Independence Day.
The Reality:
This is not a popcorn-shoveling kind of movie. On the
outside it looks like it. There are plenty of
explosions and cheesy one-liners that'll make you want to
yell "hoorah" and then salute a stranger, but at it's core
Battle: Los Angeles wants to be something else.
I'm still not sure what. There's isn't enough about
the aliens to really make it sci-fi, and while some time is
taken to present the Marines as family men and/or buddies,
that dynamic is only explored at the very beginning of the
film before it's quickly forgotten and never touched on
again. And Eckhart's battle-hardened character?
He's coming off a mission that went bad, but even he
dismisses the significance of it with a "none of that
matters" speech. In other words, Battle: Los
Angeles is a sloppy, hollow film that can't decide if it
wants to tug at your heart strings or rip them to shreds
with a barrage of bullets.
The Lesson:
Movie makers! When aliens attack it's best to just
shoot, crack jokes and save the drama for when the day is
saved and the audience needs a breather before the crunching
rock music-filled credits roll.
- John Laird
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