Friday, January 29, 2010

Just four films this week, and amongst the shuddering depression of the January Doldrums, I'm shocked to say that I'd probably pay money to see three of 'em.  I won't leave you tingling with suspense any longer.

For those who care, I haven't seen a single one of these films, and all of my opinions are based on a vast amount of knowledge about said films and a lifelong obsession with trailers in general.  If you're looking for informed opinions, I've got none.

As always, my stalwart companion Alex will be interjecting her own opinions.

Thanks for reading!

Hitting Theaters This Weekend:






WHEN IN ROME
 

The Director:  Mark Steven Johnson (Ghost Rider, Daredevil)

Stars:  Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel

The Studio:  Walt Disney Studio Pictures

The Synopsis:  A love-longing event planner steals coins from a "reputed fountain" and brings a hefty slew of love-seeking lotharios to her doorstep.

The Trailer:  Jesus Christ, could this film be anymore like Sex In The City.  They somehow created a technology that made Kristen Bell (so much potential, so little ability) sound exactly like Carrie Bradshaw.  If that wasn't enough, this is one of those trailers were an attractive lead keeps bumping in to walls and spilling drinks on herself.  And by "those trailers" I mean the shitty ones that I do nothing but make me scream out loud and spite my life.  Also, Mark Stephen Johnson directed Ghost Rider and Daredevil , meaning I will never ever see anything he ever makes.

Will I See It?:  If Caligula himself brought this film to me in the midst of a Bacchus-style orgy I would throw watered wine in his face.

Alex Says:  Seemingly vulgar in its meretricious depictions of female archetype after female archetype. I am entirely disheartened it was ever brought to theaters. Feeble.

Rotten Tomatoes Score:  19%
 

EDGE OF DARKNESS
 

The Director:  Martin Campbell (Goldeneye, Casino Royale)

The Stars:  Mel Gibson, Ray Winstone

The Studio:  Warner Bros.

The Synopsis:  Based on a British crime television show, this one places Detective Craven (Mel Gibson) Stateside, investigating the murder of his activist daughter.  Much conspiracy ensues.

The Trailer:  Pretty impressive.  A lot of angry Mel (which I love), and a few choice scenes with Danny Huston (there's a strong plus one) and Ray Winstone (another great choice).  Throw in the fact that Martin Campbell is on a bit of a streak right now and you can call me in.  Also, British crime fiction is amazing and this an adaptation by William Monahan.  I'm sold.

Will I See It?:  Uh, yes.  I love crime pictures, and this one looks particularly exciting.

Alex Says:  Mel, go back to Glover.  Those were magical moments.

Rotten Tomatoes Score:  55%
 

NORTH FACE
 

The Director:  Philipp Stolzl

The Stars:  A handful of Germans I'm sure you know nothing about.

The Studio:  Music Box Films

The Synopsis:  In the 1930s, two Bavarians attempt to ascend a dangerous North Face.

The Trailer:  Phew, makes me sweaty with acrophobia.  Sure, the female lead seems relegated to base camp duty, but the amount of frost bite, falling off cliffs and general mayhem the elements wreck on our heroes seems downright titillating.

Will I See It?:  I have a strange yen for mountain movies and this one certainly fits the bill.  Double it up with Cliffhanger and I'm in Heaven.

Alex Says:  I don't like John Krakauer.  All alpine adventures seem to trail back to that mountaineering chap born in Brookline, Massachusetts.  And he has hideous book covers.

Rotten Tomatoes Score:  86%
 

SAINT JOHN OF LAS VEGAS
 

The Director:  Hue Rhodes (Practice, Tower of Babel)

The Stars:  Steve Buscemi, Peter Dinklage, Sarah Silverman

The Studio:  IndieVest Pictures

The Synopsis:  A compulsive gambler (Steve Buscemi) gets sent back to Vegas to try and help uncover an insurance fraud.  Surely mayhem ensues.

The Trailer:  There is more than enough brilliant character actors in this trailer to make me want to see this film.  Also, Buscemi with chops that big?  Throw me the dice.

Will I See It?:  Is the Luxor a big stupid black pyramid?

Alex Says:  Buscemi and Vegas. Hit me sergeant!

Rotten Tomatoes Score:  5%
 

Final Thoughts:  For such a shitty time of year, this is a remarkably good week.  I'd go for Saint John of Vegas, but Edge of Darkness looks bearable as well.

Final Thoughts for Alex the Conquistador:  I don't get any money for doing this, so I like the short weeks the best. Will there ever be aught films coming out in a week? Does that happen? Maybe Noah, egghead of films, can tell me/us.
 

- Noah Sanders - -



Unless otherwise expressly stated, all text in this blog and any related pages, including the blog's archives, is licensed by John Laird under a Creative Commons License.