I have a confession to make. It isn't an easy one I feel as
if it might sully the esteemed opinion held towards me by so
many of you, the fantastic readers of Side One: Track One
Film. It hurts to say, but I can't keep going along like
this, lying. My soul just can't take it.
So here we go:
Prior to the writing of my column I've seen literally none
of the films I talk about.
Yup, start throwing tomatoes, I'm just another chump basing
my opinion on the brief flicker of images each and every one
of you can see in a trailer. And I'm sorry I haven't been
more forthcoming in the past.
That said, I think there's something to be said about the
innate qualities of an amazing trailer. In less than two
minutes a trailer has to sell hard-nosed viewers (and pasty
faced morons) on a film sometimes two or three hours long.
The good ones do it fantastically, the bad ones, well, I
still haven't seen Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
So, from this point forth, I'll be making each and all of my
decisions and comments based solely on the smattering of
images kindly put together in trailer form. It'll change
the format of the column a wee bit, but nothing that'll turn
you away.
I hope this is something you'll come to enjoy, as I'm
certainly excited to write it.
As always, thanks for reading.
Hitting Theaters This Weekend:
THIS IS IT
Director:
Kenny Ortega
Stars:
Michael Jackson
What Is It?
The documentary hastily thrown together by Jackson cohort
Kenny Ortega in the wake of his death. The film follows
Jackson through the last rehearsals for his death-canceled
comeback shows in London.
The
Trailer?
Short and suspiciously lacking in anything resembling a
plot. I'm of the opinion that a trailer should tell a
story. This one hastily slaps together images of Jackson
dancing, singing, and talking, and asks us to think it's a
cohesive documentary. Very tricky Mr. Ortega.
Will I See It?
No, not a chance. Any film about the hugest pop icon of all
time ticky-tacked together mere months after his shocking
death is a going to be a loosely filmic cash grab. It's
insulting in a way, and I don't take well to insult.
Alex Says "Just
in time for Day of the Dead."
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
80%
GENTLEMEN BRONCOS
Director:
Jared Hess
Stars:
Jemaine Clement, Michael Aragano, Mike White
What Is It?
The newest film by Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho
Libre mastermind Jared Hess. Hess is hit and miss with
me. Dynamite was fantastic (don't try and take that
back now that it's a pop culture tsunami) but Nacho Libre
was borderline unwatchable. This film finds the fellow from
Flight of the Conchords matching wits with a high
school author who's sci-fi opus he's shamboozled for
himself.
The
Trailer?
Pretty fantastic. Hess' visual style is perfect for the
boxy frames of the short, sweet trailer. Unfortunately,
when Hess is consumed in large quantity, that's when he gets
a bit tiresome. There's certainly a Rushmore vibe
being presented here (name plaques, short square shots,
Michael Aragano's hair combed up like that), I just don't
know if it'll stand the test of a full film.
Will I See It?
Certainly on Netflix. In a theatre? Probably not, though
there's a certain segment of my friends who'll probably
attempt to drag me out to this one.
Alex Says:
"That's a film I'd want to see with Noah's parents."
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
16%
THE BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY
Director:
Troy Duffy
Stars:
Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly, Sean Patrick Flannery
What Is It?
The return of Troy Duffy's surprisingly successful
Boondock Saints. If you haven't already, go and watch
Overnight, the story of Duffy's rise and shocking
fall in the world of Hollywood. It's sad and funny and
disgusting all at once. This film finds the murderous
brothers from film one at it again.
The
Trailer?
Looks like it could've been made exactly one minute after
Duffy yelled "Cut" on the first film. It reeks of late 90s
action, and are people still using those slow-down-speed-up
special effects for gunfights? Also, Guy Ritchie, if he
wasn't counting thousand dollar bills in his Bentley, should
be stewing that a shit stain like Troy Duffy is so
wholeheartedly biting his editing style.
Will I See It?
I'm the one male who was in college when this film released
that absolutely hated it. So no, no I will not.
Alex Says:
"Even with my hacking cough, I feel like I could watch this
movie in a crowded theatre and my fellow moviegoers wouldn't
miss much."
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
23%
THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL
Director:
Ti West
Stars:
Jocelin Donahue, Tom Noonan, Mary Woronov
What Is It?
An absolutely fucking crazy looking horror film that's being
described as "no-frills 80s throwback." Ti West is a
newbie, but people are sweating in their seats to laud
praises on this one.
The
Trailer?
Brilliantly creepy. It's got 80s horror masks, amazing
camera angles, and we get a taste of the set-up, but not the
full monty. The font at the end? So Suspiria it
makes me smile.
Will I See It? Yes.
It's Halloween weekend, I need a good horror fix.
Alex Says:
"I don't know, I think the premise is cheesy - the
babysitter always gets it. I wonder: does she get to
do it with the dad?"
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
86%
Final Thoughts:
It's a thin weekend of films, shockingly with All Hallow's
Eve rearing it's costumed head. I'm checking out The
House of the Devil and that's about it.
Alex Says:
I'm busy, I got puppet shows to attend and life-sized
Clue games to play.
Plus, with my bronchitis and all.
Noah Sanders is the blog/news editor at Light In The
Attic and a contributor at Sound On The Sound and
the KEXP blog. He also has his own
Criterion-based film site, Criterion Quest.
If you'd like to contact Noah in regards to his
writings here at Side One: Track One then please do
so
here.
- Noah Sanders
-
-
Unless
otherwise expressly stated, all text in this blog and any
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John Laird under a
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