The movies plowing in to theaters this week are really
pushing the envelope in terms of the Summer Movie Season
kicking in to high gear. Sure we've seen Watchmen
and a few other bigger films stomp fools in theaters, but
this is the start - big stupid rom-coms, big stupid comic
book adaptations, big stupid animated films.
I'm honestly more excited about the films opening this week,
in the sort of "spark that joint, let us go to the movies"
sort of way, than I have been about anything that's released
in the last well three or four months.
Lets get in to it.
Hitting Theaters This Weekend:
THE BATTLE FOR TERRA
Director:
Aristomenis Tsirbas
Cast:
Evan Rachel Wood, Luke Wilson, Justin Long
Summary:
Earth is falling apart and the only way to save society is
to forcefully take over the planet of Terra. A battle,
quite aptly, ensues.
Thoughts:
Ferngully 2009,
that's all the trailer for this movie made me think. I mean
sure, it doesn't have Tone Loc voicing an iguana, or a bad
guy that pretty much consists of black ooze, but this is it,
the unrelated sequel we (I?) were hoping for. Big bad
environmentally evil people come to the peaceful planet of a
bunch of buzzing, CGI-born insect creatures and they have to
turn up the ass-kicking a bit to save the planet. I just
hope the Earth leader has a song about killing bugs.
Also, this might be the first Evan Rachel Wood movie where
she doesn't play some sort of seductive teenager. I mean,
yes, she plays a teenager, but I'm not worried that she'll
seduce my father in this film. Odd.
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
56%
GHOSTS OF
GIRLFRIENDS PAST
Director:
Mark Waters
Cast:
Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Emma Stone
Summary:
A bachelor (McConaughey) is haunted by the ladies of his
lascivious past.
Thoughts:
If it has McConaughey in it, and it's not Dazed &
Confused, I could care less. This is just another
money-making rom-com, the dashing shmuck has attached
himself to, to keep his name in the headlines. This film,
and honestly all like it, make me want to cut off various
pieces of my body and send them in the mail to important
producers, just to show them how much they hurt me. The
only plus side of this film that I can even half-assedly
muster is that everyone in it will be easy to look at.
Sure, you might be blinded by artificially whitened teeth
gleam, but at least your last vision will be of some sort of
plasticized beauty.
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
10%
X-MEN
ORIGINS: WOLVERINE
Director:
Gavin Hood
Cast:
Hugh Jackman, Liev Schrieber, Ryan Reynolds, Danny Huston
Summary:
A look back at the life and times of future X-Men berserker,
Wolverine.
Thoughts:
I'm worried about this film. The re-shoots, the reports
about the poor usage of even poorer side-X-Men characters.
Quite honestly, Wolverine has been mishandled in the funny
books for years and years, and I can't imagine they're going
to do his painfully convoluted back story much justice on
screen in just one movie. Nonetheless, I was an X-men
fanatic for most of my younger years and I'll watch this
only for the chance to see Deadpool finally on screen. But
I'm worried, you hear me? Worried.
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
42%
LIMITED RELEASE: LIMITS OF
CONTROL
Director:
Jim Jarmusch
Cast:
Isaach De Bankolé
Summary:
A mysterious loner (De Bankole) has a job, a job he has to
complete, regardless of the law.
Thoughts:
Jarmusch + crime - what other silly people seem to think
about this film = must see. I've waded through every Jarmusch film pressed on to celluloid, and everytime a new
one straggles its way on to a couple screens across the
country, I get flush with unknown levels of excitement.
Also Bankole, so good in Broken Flowers, is a bad-ass
and any interaction we can get that involve him and Bill
fucking Murray is Christmas in April for this fellow. Go
see this. Go see it twice.
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
21%
Final Thoughts:
I mean, it's a weekend of big stupid films, but Jesus,
that's what Hollywood loves these days. Big, stupid films.
Thus, I'm just going to grab a coat hanger, lobotomize
myself (after seeing Limits of Control of course) and
then head out for a goddamn triple feature. Self-brain
damage, it's all the rage right now.
Noah Sanders is the blog/news editor at Light In The
Attic and a contributor at Sound On The Sound and
the KEXP blog. He also has his own
Criterion-based film site, Criterion Quest.
If you'd like to contact Noah in regards to his
writings here at Side One: Track One then please do
so
here.
- Noah Sanders
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