Had a week off so Johnny Boy Laird and the more Austin-based
crew could frolic amongst the bands and boneheads of SXSW.
Well, I've been slaving away in Seattle, jealous and
tearful, but I've pulled it together so I can spend another
Thursday filling you sweet folk in on the goods, the bads
and the uglies of this week in cinema releases.
I've decided that I'm getting a bit sick of just reminiscing
on the state of crappy big budget films (especially as we
hurtle head first in to the summer blockbuster season) so
I'm going to recommend a weekly film that's being released
only in a few select markets. It'll help me blow of some of
my negative steam and allow me to do what I love most:
spread the sweet love of a good film.
I'm feeling all energized and saptastic these days, so
forgive me if I start to gush.
As always, thanks for reading.
Hitting Theaters This Weekend:
MONSTERS VS ALIENS
Director:
Rob Letterman, Conrad Vernon
Cast:
Reese Witherspoon, Stephen Colbert, Seth Rogen
Summary:
After getting domed by a meteorite on her wedding day Susan
Murphy (the voice of Reese Witherspoon) turns into a cartoon
version of the Incredible Growing Woman. Whisked away by
government agents to a secret compound, she meets a crew of
other "captured" monsters the government's been saving in
case of, well, aliens. In the coincidental ways of
Hollywood, aliens attack, and the monsters, they fight back.
Thoughts:
I'm a sucker for animation, and even if I'm a bit tired of
the non-Pixar computer animation clogging up the film tubes
Monsters vs. Aliens gets my brow a little sweaty.
The concept of a bunch of humorously voiced monsters
battling it out with alien controlled robots and their
bulbous headed overlords sounds like a blast - especially in
3-D. I'm hoping, and praying, that this film eschews the
poop and pop jokes of films like say Shrek and
focuses instead on well written dialogue and aliens and
monsters duking it out in glorious 3-D. I'm tired of
animation being aimed at puddle-brained four year olds,
Pixar reigns supreme and those days need to come screeching
to a halt.
If not, hell, I'll still probably watch it. But it'll be
with a frown on my face.
THE
HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT
Director:
Peter Cornwell
Cast:
Virginia Madsen, Elias Koteas, Martin Donovan
Summary:
A couple (Virginia Madsen and Martin Donovan) move to
Connecticut in the hopes of curing their son's diseased
body. Turns out they move in to a house chock full of the
angry ethereal former ghostly residents.
Thoughts:
This film has been splattered, all creepy and such, all over
the internet, the television, the wide world of billboards
and I think it might've creeped me out a bit about the
film. I love the image of the child puking up golden ghost,
but there's something about the trailers that seem cheesy or
ill-budgeted. Perhaps its the idea that one or two of these
house haunting films drop every year, or the steady downward
trend in mainstream horror, but I am not excited about this
film. Also, Harry Knowles over at Aint-It-Cool, a bit
overpassionate sometimes with his reviews, was absolutely
turned off by this film. Knowles loves some of the worst
films out there solely because of his abundant passion for
cinema, thus, I sense a stinker in the midst.
12 ROUNDS
Director:
Renny Harlin
Cast:
John Cena, Ashley Scott
Summary:
Detective Danny Fisher (John Cena) finds out his girlfriend
(Ashley Scott) has been kidnapped. The only way to save
her? Overcome 12 Herculean tasks.
Thoughts:
First, it is sad to see Renny Harlin mingling with
pro-wrestlers. Sure, Harlin has spent the last ten years of
his life locked away in Filmmaker Prison, but this guy made
Cliffhanger and Die Hard 2, action film
classics. I would expect better of him.
That said, actual action film fans have addressed John Cena
as a possible true action star (something we've been without
for years) but nonetheless this film looks like some sort of
retarded mash-up of Saw and Die Hard 3. There
will be a collection of folk that watch this movie and like
it, I will not be amongst them. And I don't believe you
should be either.
LIMITED FLICK:
Dammit, there's nothing out there right now that I could
recommend that isn't alread being released all over the god
damn country anyways. Fred Durst's debut film, The
Education of Charlie Banks is hitting in LA and NY, but
I'm remiss to even come close to recommending it. Thus,
lets skip the indie stuff and just jump right down to my
final thoughts.
Final Thoughts:
I've got to go with Monsters vs. Aliens. It looks
fun and stupid and though I'd be sad to waste 9 or so
dollars on it, I'm sure I'd be drooly and sated watching
it. And another week of semi-unwatchable crap moves past.
I'm starting to forget why I love movies so much.
Noah Sanders is the blog/news editor at Light In The
Attic and a contributor at Sound On The Sound and
the KEXP blog. He also has his own
Criterion-based film site, Criterion Quest.
If you'd like to contact Noah in regards to his
writings here at Side One: Track One then please do
so
here.
- Noah Sanders
-
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Unless
otherwise expressly stated, all text in this blog and any
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