I'm sitting here shaking my head at this week's releases.
I'm concentrating mighty hard to somehow get myself in to
the mind of whomever tossed out this selection of films this
week. I guess you could chalk up a week full of a film
about Julia Childs, the G.I. Joe flick, and the new Robert
Rodriguez flick about tiny robots to some sort of
counter-programming experiment, but I'll just continue you
shaking my head and try not to spit up on myself while
writing this week's column.
Summary:
Based on the book of the same name, the film follows Julie
Powell (Amy Adams) as she attempts to cook everything Julia
Childs (Meryl Streep) has ever done.
Thoughts:
I'm in Seattle right now, and my slightly daffy mother is
sitting in a blue chair yelling at me about how much she
loves this book. She's also arguing with me about Nora
Ephron. Somehow, for once, she's right and now I'm angered
that my mother has bested me in filmic knowledge. Thus I'm
angry at this film for somehow distracting me long enough to
biff a film question, and thus I'm giving it a thumbs down.
Straight down to the underground.
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
66%
SHORTS: THE ADVENTURES OF THE WISHING ROCK
Director:
Robert Rodriguez
Cast:
Jimmy Bennett, James Spader, Kat Denning
Summary:
A gaggle of school children find a rock that lets them
wish for, uh, stuff, and said, er, stuff comes true.
Somehow a legion of tiny robots (called "Shorts") fit in to
the story.
Thoughts:
Robert Rodriguez is a fucking hack. A giant machete slice
of dung that continues to besmirch his own good name. I'm
even questioning my love of some of his early movies just
because he keeps squatting out shit like this. That said,
that idea of a wishing rock that doesn't always get your
wishes peaks the interest of my inner-13 year old. You know
the one who sat in his bedroom and tried to think of the
perfectly phrased wish that no genie, or wishing rock, could
besmirch. Oh c'mon, you didn't do that?
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
N/A
A PERFECT GETAWAY
Director:
David Twohy
Cast:
Milla Jovavich, Steve Zahn, Timothy Olyphant
Summary:A
pair of couples VKing in Hawaii discover that some sickos
are stalking and killing folk ... folk, just like them.
Thoughts:
David Twohy is awesome (Pitch Black!) but he hasn't
been able to crest that B-movie director hill yet, so I'm
not surprised that this film completely blindsided me in
it's release. Nonetheless, anytime Twohy throws out a film
I'm probably going to see it, and a film that's got Zahn and
Olyphant in it has me pretty excited. Especially one
involving murderous folk on the sunny isles of Hawaii.
Twohy might be a faded memory, but I'm pretty sure this will
be at least entertaining.
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
43%
GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA
Director:
Stephen Sommers
Cast:
Channing Tatum, Dennis Quaid, Marlon Wayans
Summary:
A silly action flick based on the 80s Hasbro toyline of the
same name. Things will explode, ninjas will fight, the
Eiffel Tower will melt in a spray of green acidic death.
Thoughts:
If anyone on Earth should be drinking a big-budget version
of an 80s cartoon action flick about U.S. soldiers named
Roadblock and Duke and Scarlett, it should be Stephen
Sommers. From what I hear this film does everything it sets
out to and if you can believe Devin Faraci - one of my
favorite reviewers on the 'net - then this film is a huge
fucking blast. Seriously, robotic suits that let you jump
through car windows and ninjas fighting in fire - count me
in.
Rotten Tomatoes Score:
43%
Final Thoughts:
I don't know about this week, I'd certainly pay to see A
Perfect Getaway and G.I. Joe, but neither are
really screaming at me to rush on in to the cineplex. Maybe
I'll just stay home and watch Okie Noodlin'. Yeah,
finger-baitin', catfish hunting, that's the ticket.
Noah Sanders is the blog/news editor at Light In The
Attic and a contributor at Sound On The Sound and
the KEXP blog. He also has his own
Criterion-based film site, Criterion Quest.
If you'd like to contact Noah in regards to his
writings here at Side One: Track One then please do
so
here.
- Noah Sanders
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