Friday, December 19, 2008

So, I caught a screening of Bryan Singer's Valkyrie earlier in the week.  And?  Well, let's just say that you may want to just continue stuffing cash in your mattress.

It's fairly unfortunately really, especially when you consider that the movie is based on the true story of how a group of Germans - some of which were high ranking officials - decided that the only way to save their country was to take it upon themselves to get rid of Hitler.

Sure, as the film points out, there were plenty of other assassination attempts, but this was the one that almost succeeded.

And really, in a cruel twist of fate, Valkyrie itself is something that almost succeeds, and it's all Bryan Singer's doing. 

What happened to this guy after X2: X-Men United?  Did he decide that he no longer had to make movies with compelling stories?  Superman Returns felt like all gloss and nothing else, and Valkryie, for a good two hours, never manages to make you care about these people in any way, shape or form (and it's not because you know how the tale turns out).

The main problem is the accents.  In 13^th Warrior fashion, Singer has Tom Cruise (who is his usual solid self here) read about five lines of dialogue in German with a full accent before transitioning over into how he normally talks.  So, in this film that should detail complete German pride, there's a huge mishmash of the world's accents, which makes for a rather jarring experience.

Aside from never fully being able to settle into the story because of the Troy-like dialogue issues, Singer also goes at this like your normal blockbuster action flick when it should have been an intimate and tense portrayal of everything that these people sacrificed.  Again, it makes for a slow and hollow watch (or jarring, if you will).

I can't fathom what Valkryie was like before it got delayed all those times, but it would be really interesting to find out if it went from how I thought it should have been to what it is now, which is just a big piece of nothing that couldn't pay respect to the story if it tried.

Seriously, spend your Christmas Day doing something else.

- John Laird - -



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