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Movie Breakdown: Jurassic Park 3D (Noah)

April 4, 2013


People are doing traditional-style reviews all over the web, so we decided to try something different.  In each “breakdown” we’ll take a look at what a film’s marketing lead us to believe, how the movie actually played, and then what we learned from it all.  Read on!

The Impression:

Jurassic Park is a brilliant film. Get over it. The fact that they’re retrofitting it for 3D and re-releasing it back in to the wild may not be my most preferential treatment of the material, but if it means a chance to see it again on the big screen in all it’s T-Rex glory, I say fuck yeah.

The Reality:

Yup, Jurassic Park (in 3D or not) is an awe-inspiring film. My date to the movie turned to me afterwards and said, “Spielberg just makes it look so easy.” We’re in an age of film where just about anything can make it on the big screen and time and time again these hugely budgeted fantastical films are overwrought, completely boring slabs of crapola.” If Jurassic Park came out today I’d fear the same of it, but in Spielberg’s very capable hands, JP becomes not just a thrilling action ride (and I’ve seen this movie 50 times and the first appearance of the T-Rex still sent shivers down my spine) but an almost perfectly paced, perfectly economized bit of film.

Even the moments pre-dinosaurs with Sam Neill and Laura Dern (also, what a strange world the 90s were where Laura Dern and Sam Neill headlined a big budget actioneer) at the dig-site or conversing with Jeff Goldblum (playing some amazing and hilarious mixture of Fabio, Lenny Bruce, and Richard Dawkins) or Neill’s inability to fathom hanging out with the kids – Spielberg and David Koepp build the suspense of the park while genuinely feeding us bits of information that events further down the line will hinge upon. It isn’t rocket science, but if you ever want to make a big budget monster flick turn on JP for a while, it’s a textbook example of how to do so. And then, the dinosaurs. Once the action kicks off and Neill and the kids are fleeing from every imaginable sort of dinosaur threat imaginable, all of the elements blend seamlessly together. The connection that builds between Dr. Grant and the kids, the relationship between Dr. Sadler and Dr. Grant, the sadness John Hammond faces as he watches his dream collapse around him plus various attacks by prehistoric monsters that are riveting and feel real and not hatched in some 19 year olds supercomputer. Am I nostalgic as fuck for a film that made me love movies when I was 11? Yes. Do I think this is a detriment to my judgment of the film? No. This is a great film and if you don’t believe me, you have no soul and should probably be an insurance agent.

Oh yeah, there’s 3D in the film and for the most part it’s barely noticeable and you kind of think to yourself, “It’s nice that the 3D thing got this film back on the big screen” and then Lex falls through the heating vent at the end and the raptor jumps at to try and eat her and the whole audience goes “Oh shit!” and then you say, “Yeah 3D!”

The Lesson:

How did this franchise end up so bad? This movie is so good.

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