Movie Breakdown: Jem And The Holograms

The Impression:

As far as I know, no one anywhere has ever wanted a big screen version of the 80s cartoon Jem And The Holograms.  But here one is.  Jon M. Chu (Step Up 3D, GI Joe: Retaliation) directed it, so maybe it’ll be dumb but fun?

The Reality:

There have been some particularly strange movies released this year, but I think Jem And The Holograms might be the most bizarre of them all.  The film’s main plot is pretty simple – Jerrica (Aubrey Peeples) is a small town girl just trying to find her way after she is suddenly made famous when a video of her singing goes viral – but everything else about it is as scatterbrained and random as can be.  There are a ton of subplots that come and go based on whether or not someone in the film needs something to do or if it’s been too long since a reference to the 80s cartoon has been made, and because of this the movie ends up being a weird one part teen drama, one part music video, one part sci-fi adventure thingy.  So, all around the scenes where the young ladies are being young ladies and dealing with fame and what it entails, there’s also elaborate performance pieces and a quest to find missing parts of a robot.  Huh?!  I’m not exaggerating when I say that few films have baffled me the way that Jems And The Holograms did.

I guess the film has a nice message (be yourself!) and I actually didn’t hate the music in it (aside from one immensely awkward and horribly done number under a pier), but I can’t at all recommend it.  Skip!

The Lesson:

Hey Hollywood, can I get this show adapted next?  Just figured I’d ask since you seem to be open to weird shit.