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Movie Breakdown: The Boy Next Door

January 22, 2015

Film

People are doing traditional-style reviews all over the web, so we decided to try something different.  In each “breakdown” we’ll take a look at what a film’s marketing led us to believe, how the movie actually played, and then what we learned from it all.  Read on!

The Impression:

Jennifer Lopez has sex with the boy next door.  Shit gets weird.  This could be bad-good.

The Reality:

J.LOL

As I sat waiting for The Boy Next Door to start, all I had on the brain was J.LOL.  I just knew that the movie was going to be an innuendo-laced, Skinemax-esque good time, and I couldn’t wait to cleverly sling J.LOL around while blatantly celebrating the superstar for following up her divorce with an R-rated flick that’s centered around her banging a young hot dude.  Because screw you, Marc “I Need To Know” Anthony!

But no.  Instead of getting to have some fun throwing around the immensely stupid joke that is J.LOL, I had to jam it into the opening paragraph because The Boy Next Door is just an all-out awful film.  Imagine a mix of those laugh-track-less Big Bang Theory vids, the lamest Lifetime-movie cliches and the smell of burnt hair, and you’ll have an idea of what I experienced with The Boy Next Door.  Avoid it at all costs.

The Lesson:

What ever happened to the Jennifer Lopez that was in Out Of Sight?  She was great.

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